I got the most amusing spam:
Good morning, man.
Watch my tits!
Thanks.
In case you’re wondering, by “watch my tits” she means “get infected with a virus.” It’s like Nuevo Laredo except without the donkey.
It’s not weird! Don’t judge me!!
http://babeswithbooks.blogspot.com/
http://rumplo.com/tees/tee/1473-progresswear-intelligent-design-isnt-t+shirt
So this morning when I dismounted my bike, the bike seat caught on the seat of my pants and ripped a hole from the top of my ass to about mid thigh. Luckily I had a t-shirt at the office and am currently wearing it all McGuyver style. Which means I’m wearing it like a diaper with my legs shoved through the sleeves. I documented the incident through photos to share with you.
Because of its infrequent use, I find butthole dirtier and more offensive than asshole.
Rachel: my brain got rickrolled
To all 2 of you that read this site, it won’t mean much, but I’ve deleted pretty much all my social networking entities. No more myspace, friendster, facebook, okcupid or twitter for me. I just have this one humble site in my own corner of the internets.
This is so fucking bad, I can’t even find the words to describe this. It’s like digging through your dad’s porn collection, finding a tape and popping it in the VCR to some hard core close-up and then when the camera pans out, finding out that you’ve been watching your parents do it. OK, take that icky feeling in your belly, multiply it 20 times and then put a turd on top just because, and this is still worse.
I’ve lived through the 89s and I know of no one that danced like this. Well except for the New Kids On The Block, but they were retarded so they get a slide.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WKa83iK7R4
And in case you want to sing along (you know you do) I’ve taken the time to type out the lyrics for you:
DOUCHEBAG:
I’m king, and they know it
when i snap my fingers everybody says show it
I’m hot
and you’re not
but if you wanna hang with me I’ll give it one shot
top that
top that
You can give it what you can, but you will never top that!
top that!
You can dream until you’re blue but you will never top that - huh huh
I’m hot
and you’re not
But if you wanna hang with me I’ll give it one shot
top that
top that
You can do all that you can but you’ll never top that
top that
top that
DOUCHEBAGUETTE:
Supersonic, idiotic, disconnected, not respected, who would really ever wanna go and top that?
Such a waste, a pretty face but hanging in your no one’s face
I wish that you would take a look and really stop that
Top that
well, stop that
I don’t really give a _ about tryin to top that
Top that
stop that
I wish you finally take a real look and really stop that
DOUCHEBAG:
Whats this
DOUCHEBAGUETTE:
stop that
DOUCHEBAG:
What gives
DOUCHEBAGUETTE:
stop that
I don’t really give a _ about tryin’ to top that
DOUCHEBAG:
top that
DOUCHEBAGUETTE:
big deal
DOUCHEBAG:
stop that
DOUCHEBAGUETTE:
unreal
DOUCHEBAG:
you can try until you’re blue
DOUCHEBAGUETTE:
i will make a fool of you
DOUCHEPARTY:
top that!
And I thought Black-Eyed Peas had lame rhymes. And that comes from the whitest Asian man on the face of the planet.
Google wants to help introduce me to vampire men in my local area.
And yes, alcohol was involved. And a butcher knife. And lots of hacking.
There’s a Japanese saying that goes like this:
Romanized it’s “Ningen banji, saiou-ga-uma.”
Translated it means “All human affairs are like Saiou’s horse.”
This is based on an old Chinese folk tale about a man named Sai. One day his horse runs away and all his neighbors consoled him on his bad luck. But he wasn’t convinced that this was the case. The next day the horse returned, leading a second horse. Sai also had a son, who was riding the horse one day only to fall and break his leg. The neighbors again sent their condolences for the bad luck and again Sai disagreed that it was necessarily bad luck. The ruler of the region then drafted all able bodied men to go into battle because he felt like conquering something. The son, due to his broken leg, couldn’t go.
This story was told to me by my cousin who is Japanese long ago and I’m happy it chose just now to crawl across my brain.