Pernicious Porcine Ponderings

If anyone would care to send me a pack or two of American Spirits, I’d be forever grateful!

So yesterday I had my first full day here in Taiwan. I woke up at 4:30 AM local time because my body hasn’t adjusted yet. I spent the next 3 hours watching an American TV channel (old sitcoms like Seinfeld, Malcom in the Middle, some thing that John Ritter did that wasn’t Three’s Company, etc). […]

You know, I wish I could go through security checkpoints twice while I’m travelling. And thanks to the genius who designed SFO, my dreams of strangers rummaging through my stuff wearing blue gloves has come true!
So, since my employers saw fit to ship me business class, my domestic flights have been seated in first class. […]

So it’s like 6:30 AM and the airport is surprisingly packed. I got here an hour ago for my impromptu trip to the Orient.
A tip to others considering absconding via the airport - bring your own water. They charge $4.00 for 24 oz of water. Non-alcoholic water. The bottle label assures me that it’s “Premium” […]

I just called my sister to let her know that my company is shipping me to Taiwan, possibly for up to 3 weeks and she says, “Well, just don’t stick drugs up your butt.”

So I was walking the trails that pass through Zilker Park today when the train passed and I had an idea for a photography project. I think it would be humorous to get a couple of kids dressed up like an old-time villain (top hat, black cape, handlebar moustache) to tie up another kid dressed […]

I just wanted to mention that the Dallas/Ft. Worth area sucks balls. I had to drive 15 miles to find a place that actually offers Wi-Fi and it’s either $6.00 an hour or $10.00 a day. Suck it, D/FW. Suck it long and suck it hard.

I’m friends with Steve Wozniak’s cousin! How cool is that??
I’ll tell you how cool! It’s like sleeping with a girl whose brother was friends with Alfonso Ribeiro in grade school.

So, the funniest things I’ve said in my sleep recently was:
“No, you lay down first!”
“I like you but I can’t touch you. Even though I paid.”

Apparently, there’s a company out there peddling a paint that will effectively block cell phone signals for use in theaters and concert halls and the like. You know, I get just as annoyed by the random cell phone ring in a movie as the next person, but isn’t this taking things a little too far? […]